So, here we are. After waiting for months since the first teaser trailer’s debut, we will finally be graced by Lord Abrams’s good graces. We shall finally witness the glory that is The Force Awakens this Friday, when it premieres across the country.
Except, I didn’t get a ticket for the premiere on Friday. Whoops.
I’ll see it eventually, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make. I mean, how many of us have dreamt of this moment since that oh so teasing trailer? How long have we waited of some sort of sweet redemption for the prequels? An occasion like this deserves the utmost respect, and that means we have to prepare for when we ultimately get to see the film, in person. What do you think will happen when you lose your shit at the rolling exposition? What will you wear to show your devotion? What if someone nabs your seats in the theater?
Have you even thought about this??
Oh, no, you really haven’t? Seriously? Okay, well now I feel stupid.
Well, if you have thought about how you might prepare for that moment, then you’ve come to the right place. If you are going to the December 18th premiere, here are some tips on how to prepare for the big day.
Have a seating strategy
If the good people of your local movie theater let the crowds in early enough to get some seats, you call Squatter’s Rights like you’ve never called them before. Do what you must: use coats, purses, bags, missing hands, helmets, blasters, anything. Get your seats and protect them from all those scruffy little nerf-herders.
Get yo SWAG on
You got Star Wars SWAG? Wear it. Wear all of it. Layer it if you must. Show your pride. Take what you can, give nothing back.
Got no SWAG? Improvise, bro!
If you lack the SWAG, just make up some. Popcorn buckets are a good foundation for Stormtrooper helmets. Just saying. The world is your oyster.
Stock up on brown paper bags
For, you know, the hyperventilation.
Establish your drinking game rules
Let’s say, you bring in something that’s a little more…adult. No, not that! God. I’m talking about alcohol.
Now, let’s say you and your friends like to partake in activities that involve spirited quaffing (that’s another word for drinking, not for teasing your hair). Well, how are you going to prepare for that? You need to set rules. If you simply say, “Take a drink every time someone says ‘The Force,'” you’re going to be worse off than Bobba Fett in the Sarlacc pit. These rules need to be considered and set.
Yes, I’m being serious!
Deal with the haters with grace
Picture it: there’s a fan who likes the prequels, and nothing else in the Star Wars franchise. They start giving you a hard time. What do you do? So you bring your Blutooth speaker, blast “Battle of the Fates,” and you teach them a lesson with your retractable lightsaber. It’s the only way. Yup.
Grab some tissues
Ultimately, I know you’ll cry. We’ll all cry. Make sure you mop yourself up with some Puffs.
And there you have it! I believe you are read your, young Padawon. Now go forth, watch The Force Awakens, and pleas: no spoilers.
Remember: the Nerd•ily Giveaway ends THIS FRIDAY! Make sure you submit your photos by then with the hashtag #nerdilygiveaway. You could be the lucky winner of one of two Star Wars prize packs! For more details, click here.
Life was meant to be lived nerdily, so what are you waiting for?